What is it with the blatant product placement that has been turned into a way for movies to make fun of themselves? It was funny once, now, it’s in every domestic film, and lost it’s charm. I really like 30 Rock, but there is seriously SO MUCH product promotion. stupid. stupid. I wonder why Tina Fey has allowed it – there’s a lot in Baby Mama too. Booooo.

Yesterday I spent my afternoon at Midas waiting for my car to be fixed, watching Bee Movie. I was hoping that it would be a good movie for me to bring on the plane with R., but really, it was just one big advertisement. Everything from Vibram soles for shoes to FTD flowers. Ugh. Not a good kids movie. I don’t know how it managed a 53% on Rotten Tomatoes. Blech. Lately movies advertised as “kids movies” have been catering to adults – with jokes that would be far above a 7 year-olds head. And they’re not always clean! That’s dumb. Growl. Watching it as an adult, the only character I liked was the really egotistical boyfriend. The girl was cute too – but I think her big doe eyes and her “let’s not kill things” demeanor was a little too similar to my own personality for me to appreciate the satire. But the things I liked about the movie were the adult moments, the one I wouldn’t want R. watching. Why can’t they make decent children’s movies any more? Like Beauty and the Beast… sigh.

Last night I watched The Simpsons Movie while I packed – and it wasn’t good, but it was able to sufficiently make fun of itself to be bearable. That’s really all I have to say about it.

Now I have to get back to my frantic packing and researching all the awesome things that I need to do in Paris. whooo.

I know, lately this has turned into more of a journal of my medical fun, but they’re winding down, I promise.

One thing I had intended to write about was my experience getting Mirena, an IUC put in. After I had it put in, I went through and read through forums, journals, and other places to see what other people had experienced. I wish I had done it before! So here is my fun experience – in case you’re thinking of getting on, or just curious.

I am leaving my parents’ insurance and don’t yet know what type of coverage I’ll get with my nonexistent job, or if I’ll have to get some on my own. To cover my bases, I decided to get a thousand doctors to look me over, in the hope that preventative measures would you know – prevent some medical disaster. In all of this, I realized that my BC, the Patch, which I LOVE, is expensive, and there is no non-name brand copy cat. I really didn’t like taking pills, because my body really disliked it if I forgot one. I decided to look into other, 1 time solutions. I didn’t like the hole sterilization thing because although I never ever want babies, having surgery sucks, and  I’ve heard of women having pretty icky side effects. I decided I wanted to get Implanon, but my insurance wouldn’t cover it, because it’s too new. It would have been $650 out of pocket, which I would have used FlexSpending for. However, I asked if they would cover an IUD and they said it would only cost me my $30 co-pay. I decided that was the winner. 5 years of not thinking about it, low, low failure rates, and very few side effects. Bingo.

I went in to the appointment having read all about it on the website, and looking at drug sties to see side effect rates. I expected to just lie back, feel something funny being pushed into my uterus, and go home two seconds later. That’s sort of what happened, but for me, the funny feeling was intense pain. Not “a little cramping” as I expected. After he put it in (first he put something in that measured the depth of my uterus, then he put it in), I was feeling pretty crummy, but I figured it’d go away pretty quickly. My doctor asked if I wanted an Advil (apparently some people are told to take a couple before coming in, just like for bikini waxes), but I declined because of my recent surgery, and I knew when I got home I could pop a Lortab. But then I started to feel really nauseous and dry heaved a couple times. Really pleasant. Apparently this happens to about 1% of people. lucky me. My doctor got me some water, chilled out with me for about 10 minutes to make sure I was okay, then told me to take as long as I needed.

I need to pause for a moment to let you know that I am stubborn. Stupidly so. I always push myself further than I should, and think that taking a step back and admitting weakness is the end of the world. Back to story – I decided that I was fine. I would make it to my car, sit for a few minutes, then drive home. I went to check out, and barely finished paying before I frantically asked “where’s the bathroom?!?” After a few minutes chilling in there, someone knocked on the door, so I knew I had to save face and move on. I made it to the elevator, and by the time I got to the bottom floor I knew I shouldn’t have left. I scrambled to the nearest bathroom, where I sat in agony for about ten minutes. I felt really awkward in there, because other people were coming in and out, and I was just chiling out in the stall, sobbing quietly. I know I am confused/worried/think bulimia when someone doesn’t leave a stall the whole time I’m in the restroom. I again decided to try for my car – which I sucessfully completed. I sat in my car, crying again, called S. and told him I might need him to come take care of me, and decided that I had to get home. In retrospect, driving was a really stupid move, but I did it. I made it home alive, called S. to check in again, popped some fun drugs, and took a long bubble bath. Somehow the mix of the bath and drugs brought the pain down to an almost bearable level and I managed to sleep for a couple hours. I was feeling about the same level of cruddy when I woke, and stayed in for the night. The following day I felt like I was having really bad PMS, and the day after that was even better. One week out, I’m feeling perfectly fine – no notice of it at all expect for the expected spotting.

If I were to got through that again (which I probably will do in 5 years, unless I switch to Implanon or something similar), I would 1. Pop a whole bunch of advil (or even something harder) prior. and 2. Take someone to drive me home! But really, the convenience is so huge, that one or two cruddy days are a reasonable cost. Just be prepared!

Despite the above story, I had a post-op appointment today in which I was told I was doing awesome, but they went a little crazy with the numbing stuff and I was in agony driving home. I shouldn’t have been driving. I cancelled my afternoon appointments I felt so bad (think the worst brain freeze you’ve ever had, coupled with a swollen throat and allergies so bad you can’t breathe through your nose), but yet I thought “if I can just make it home, I’ll be okay…” Dummy. I think I’m going to try to convince S. to go to my next appt with me. I CAN learn from my mistakes :p

I spent far too much time today thinking about what my favorite pink things that I own are, finding pictures of them, creating a banner with them and figuring out how to embed it in the CSS (it was way easier than I was trying to make it).

It includes:

• My Wilson Nano Carbon Tennis Racket, Penn Pink Tennis Balls, Prince Tennis bag – all from S. for my birthday :]
• Nike Shox Saya shoes (my new weekend purchase to go along with all my tennis gear), and assorted workout clothes.
• Thermarest stuff pouches (to go along with my ProLite 4)!
• Oscar Pink Lily perfume (my favorite scent – it’s sad it was only a seasonal release)
• A Calphalon whisk I couldn’t help buying when I saw it. It was a totally “oooh… pink!” impulse buy.
• A Nike Presto watch – I love these things. I have gone through a lot of them. I love the factory stores!
• The Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook – my mom always used hers when I was growing up, so when I was in a bookstore and I saw they came out with a pink one, I had to get it!
• A Gillette Venus razor – the vibrating kind. I was skeptical about the vibrations at first, but it was pink, so I had to try it (now I really do like it. A lot.)
• Pink striped Kitchen Towels from Williams and Sonoma. I love them!
• My Vera Bradley eyeglass case – S. has a strong dislike for V.B. I do as well, but somehow the color pink has a neutralizing effect on all things.
• Pantagonia boy cut panties! These things are so great for hiking/biking/being outdoors!
• A pink Nalgene
• Dish washing gloves – My family never used them when I was young, I have no idea why – these are the greatest things ever.
• My little pink Camelbak.
• And of course, my newest, most treasured purchase, a pink vaio cr320e. mmmm :]

I’m sure I have more pink things, but they are so much part of my life I can’t even think of them. I have about 80 pink binders/notebooks, but they’re not interesting enough to put here. There are also a few items which I refuse to buy in pink, because I just couldn’t pull off a pink backpacking backpack, or sleeping bag (although I did add one to the banner…) – plus, with these items, there are features that are way more important than aesthetics. But most things (even whisks) are enhanced by the color pink!

So, the new purchased item that I referenced in my last post is really exciting. It’s a new PINK, Sony VAIO CR320E!

I’ve been looking for a new laptop since my Acer Tablet died (the mechanism holding the screen up snapped, and the screen had been doing this thing for a while where it would go dark and I’d have to press Fn & F6 to bring it back – and sometimes it would just immediately shut back off again. It was annoying). My desktop is pretty old at this point (2003!), and although I still, it was time to move on to something with a bigger hardrive (80GB vs my new laptop with 250), a newer processor, and more RAM. I was either going to do a complete makeover to my desktop and get a cheap laptop to supplement it for travel, or just get a new laptop. Anyway, S. and I were at Office Depot buying batteries, and there were a couple laptops on the clearance table. This one happened to be $1299 originally, marked down to 850 because it was a floor model. I really wanted it, but was conflicted about it. I asked the guy if he could give me a little bit better deal (with a big smile), and he said “I may be able to.” He came back and told me he could take $80 off (which covers TN’s stupid 10% tax), bringing it to 769, or 850 with taxes. S. and I decided to think about it, went to his family’s house, looked online and realized it really was a great deal. We tried to go back that evening, but it was closed, so we were there when the store opened yesterday morning.

Being a floor model, there is a little bit of wear on one corner, but it’s not a big deal. However I did have to do a restore to factory condition, then spent all last night taking off the stupid programs that I really didn’t want (when I first turned it on, there was 60GB of crap on here – by the time I reinstalled, wiped stuff off, and put on the programs I think are important it was down to 20GB). Now I am just having a good time adjusting my settings and typing with a keyboard that I love. Most laptop keyboards suck. This one doesn’t! <3

This weekend S. and I went to Nashville, TN for a little down home, country fun. If I haven’t already said such, I really, really dislike country music. But it was still an AMAZING weekend!

We didn’t arrive until mid afternoon Saturday, but since it was a holiday weekend, that was okay (I dragged S. to a contra Fri. night – his first!). We met up with a friend of mine from high school, D., and went out to explore the city. We saw the full sized replica of the Parthenon, wandered around a park, walked down Broadway and poked our heads in the touristy bars with live country music, stopped in at the Earnest Rubb Record Shop, then ate at Cafe Coco (which was FABULOUS), stopped in front of the Exit In, which is some famous club, then ate at Krispy Kreme (because, after all, we are in the South). It was fun to see my friend again. Although it’s a little funny, because some people don’t change at all, even if you haven’t seen them in 2 years, and other are completely different. This particular friend falls in the first category for the most part.  Funny.

After touring with D., S and I booked a hotel on Priceline, and we got a great deal! We ended up at the Opryland Resort Hotel, which I can only describe as being pretty much a smaller, indoor, adult version of Disney World. It was awesome. We didn’t have much time to explore Saturday night. We checked in, changed quickly, and ran off to The Grand Ole Opry. What an experience. It was certainly… interesting. For someone who dislikes country music as much as I do, I can’t even believe I agreed to go. S. (who doesn’t love country, but does like some – like the Dixie Chicks), was ready to leave the second we sat down. We stayed for 3 out of 4 sets, but the second and third were only bearable because we each had consumed a Mike’s Hard and we were pretty tipsy. We can now say we’ve been, and that in itself is interesting. The biggest name of the night was Shooter Jennings,  who is Waylon Jennings’ (not to be confused with the Wailin’ Jennys) son. The band included three men who looked like they walked right out of the 70s: long, straight hair with round glasses, serious looks on their faces. The last member looked like he belonged at Oxford 100 years ago – the pretenious, I’m-too-cool-for-you type. It was crazy.

After our country music experience, we returned to our outrageous hotel, wandered around, ate delicious desserts, and went to bed! In the morning, I was so excited that I woke up far too early, and dragged S. out of bed with me. We went down to the pool, sat in the hot tub, swam in the outdoor, heated pool, went to the gym and further explored our hotel. We then jumped in the car, and embarked on a crazy shopping adventure at the Opry Mills.

We had originally intended to go backpacking Saturday night (we had even hit up REI on our way, and we both purchased new Blue Kazoo down bags), but because of all the excitement, we didn’t even get out of Nashville until 2pm. We also had some family stuff to do right outside of the city. We ended up staying with S.’ aunt and uncle for the evening, and did a small day hike today instead. Emphasis on the small. But it was still fun! I also bought something new and fun, but I think I will have an entire post devoted the the fun. Because I am that much of a dork.

I will hopefully update again tomorrow. I hope! (It is almost my promised bedtime, so I cannot do anymore now!)

My next post was going to be a really happy one that delightedly told of a lovely night out with S.’s parents: Riverdance! I will try to get back to this later. Instead, I’m going to tell you about my horrible, no good day.

I’m not completely naive. I know there are bad people that do bad things. I’m not all mushy-gushy sunshiney all the time (although some people say such). I’m an optimistic realist. Bad, shitty things happen. But you won’t make life better by dwelling on it forever. Modify the way you are in the world to better protect yourself, and cautiously reemerge. I feel that most people have some sort of radar that can detect bad people, or manipulative people. Sometimes we don’t listen to our radars. Sometimes people are so conniving that they manage to trick our radars. And some people may actually have good intentions for doing what they do, self-protective reasons, even if it is crappy. I think I’ve encountered enough icky people in my life that I have developed a pretty good screening mechanism for people – not thorough by any means, but there’s a yellow light that says “sure, proceed with caution.” But this time, my radar broke. It totally went dead. I was surrounded by other people who said “this person is a good one. They’ve been a minimal part of our lives for four years. Good person.” Their radars were broken too.

There are certain people that we hope we can assume are good, or that there are enough checks in their jobs to justify their power. This is not always true, but we have to believe in some small way that they are – otherwise we’d move countries, or hopefully they’d lose power! Police officers, firemen, teachers, anyone in power over children. Yes, there are totally corrupt police officers. But hopefully if a fireman saw your house burning down, he wouldn’t just laugh and watch you die. When you put your child on the bus in the morning, you trust that the worst person they’ll encounter will be the bully on the playground – and that the adults around will protect them from too much harm.

Occasionally you’ll see horrible things in the news that prove this isn’t the case. Everyone’s seen heard about the teacher who slept with her 16 year old student and claimed it was consensual. Everyone went up in arms and was horrified. Our children should be protected. There are a couple groups that those in the health field have to legally protect if abuse is happening to: children, elders, institutionalized people, and those who are not capable of protecting themselves.

Today I found out I failed at protecting someone in two of those categories. There was nothing I could have done, no way I could have known, but I still feel responsible in some part. Like I should have known. Like I could have protected one special little girl, and even more people who trusted this person. Okay – enough being vague. Read This Article.

This man, who drives a van for special needs elementary school children raped a 12 year old autistic girl. NOT the girl I work with, but one on the same bus. This man, who I’ve encountered countless times, has always been quiet, sweet, and really caring towards the kids on his van. He has been in charge of a little girl who I love for over an hour and a half a day for the last 5 years. He has been alone with her. A week and a half ago he took a little 12 year old girl to a parking lot, and raped her. twice. This may not be the first, or second time this has happened. It makes me physically sick to think about it. literally. Oh. My. God.

I feel like such an old lady! My days are filled with geriatric nature strolls, soft foods, naps, putting laxatives and salt water up my nose, and mindless tv shows which are little more than glorified soaps. My most recent complaint is that I tore some skin off my lip last night and it really hurts. I have become a mouth-breather, like some silly fish, so i have to be constantly sucking on lozenges to make up for it. It’s a terrible cycle.

Last night S. and I drove by my place to pick up some things that I needed, and I convinced him that we needed Starbucks, Mani/Pedis and Sushi. What a nice pick-me-up night! Getting my nails done always makes me feel a lot better. Not in the flashy “look at my nails!” kind of way, but in the “wow. my nail polish isn’t all chipped and growing off” kind of way. I wonder what the cute little asian lady thought the giant IV bruise on the back of my hand was from. Anyway – I am very lucky to have a man who can go and appreciate this pleasure with me. And the sushi was good! The eggplant tempura roll wasn’t on the eat-in menu, and neither was the General’s Tofu, but they gave me both anyway. Very nice. And fried bananas in spring rolls with green tea ice cream for dessert – yum!

My diet needs drastic improvement. And the whole exercising thing – I am very sad I am not allowed to do it for two weeks. No tennis, no rock climbing, no dancing. Ahhh!! I guess I will continue with my geriatric walks. I like them very much. I want to go sit on the court with my pink tennis gear and start learning!

Being sick does not work well for an over-eager workaholic.

One to two weeks before I hear if I’ve passed comps… eek!

So, someone asked exactly what sort of sinus surgery I had. Since I have been so immersed in all of the details, I completely forgot that other people don’t know. I guess that’s what all the oxycotin does to you :p

I went to an allergist a few months ago who told me I had a deviated septum and that I could get a septoplasty to fix it. He said it would help me breathe better, and that my seasonal allergies would be significantly diminished. Since I was in school, I didn’t feel like doing it, so I just said “uh huh, sure.”

Since I am graduating [have graduated?], I am no longer eligible for my parents’ insurance and have been seeing every type of doctor possible, just to make sure that everything is okay. Well, I had an appointment set up with an Ear Nose Throat (ENT) doctor, just to check out this deviated septum thing when I got that bad sinus infection. I saw the nurse the week before the scheduled appointment, who was surprised I’ve been able to breathe as well as I have in the past. A week later, the doctor confirmed that my septum was severely deviated, and told me that my middle turbinates also were really swollen and I need to have them reduced.

So the surgery that I had was a septoplasty and turbinate reduction. What does that mean? It means part of my insides were hacked out and I am left in pain, taking narcotics and antibiotics, feeling dizzy, nauseous, and in pain. Whooooo!

It is interesting – you find out how much certain people really feel about you in situations like this. A man who really dislikes blood and icky things was genuinely excited with me last night when the drainage from my nose switched from blood to mucous. And he has been dripping laxatives into my nose to help it lubricate itself, and helping me change bandages, and holding me tight while I cry because I hurt or feel nauseous. Thank you S. I really, really, really, really, REALLY appreciate it. You are so very wonderful. I can’t even express how much I love you :]

Soo…. my face hurts. A bunch. And I have gauze taped until my nose that I have to change every hour or o because it is getting soaked with blood. And walking is hard. But that’s what wonderful boyfriends are for.

So S. and I decided that instead of staying at my furniture-less apartment, which only has a twin mattress on the floor, we would take up his parents on their generous offer to let us stay with them for a while. S was planning on staying here for the month anyway, and I couldn’t be left alone, so this way I have way more babysitters to take care of me. So we got in to their house around midnight Wednesday night, and left at 4am so we could stop in at my place and grab some papers and clean panties before my surgery, which was at 5:30am. So it was fun. They had problems sticking in my IV, so that hurt a bunch, and I got to wear anti-embolism tights and socks with sticky stuff on the bottom, and a hair net! And when I woke up I DIDN’T cry (last time I had general anesthesia, I sobbed for the next 4 hours)! Although I think I remember being really loopy and telling S. that I was loopy enough that I wanted to ask him to marry me (what?). My throat bothered me a lot yesterday as well, because they had to shove a tube down it for the surgery, and I obviously cannot breathe through my nose now. So that stinks. But oh well.

So after a long day of not sleeping, and watching movies, and being drugged up, I managed to actually sleep last night. I woke up every two hours, and took more drugs every 4. I am still drugged now. Can you tell? It is a super good time. I will try to be a more reliable blogger now that I am back from my travels, but I may end up being worse, because of my drug induced state. But that could be entertaining as well!

I hurt.

First off, I apologize for being a delinquent blogger. There have been a lot of crazy, exciting things going on recently.

- I have been told I need sinus surgery and have been having lots of fun pre-op appointments with doctors. I fly back home late Wednesday night (midnight) and will be operated on Thursday at 5:30am!

- I studied like crazy and took my graduation exam. I find out in two weeks or so if I passed or if I have to revise. I’m nervous about it!

- After taking my exam I rushed home, packed, cleaned, went to sleep and woke up super early to get on a plane to help S move.

- Since Saturday, I have been in 4 different states – > but all big ones. Not like the tiny Northeastern states I’m going to make my way through tonight/tomorrow morning.

- I visited with my parents and their two foster daughters for a day and a half. We played Pictionary Jr. FUN!

- We’re visiting S.’s sister and her husband right now. They are such wonderful hosts!

- This exhaustion thing is crazy. We have been functioning off a tiny tiny amount of sleep, and have cool people like my parents who walk into the kitchen at 6AM banging pots and singing “rise and shine, and give God the glory glory!” what wackos.

- It is my birthday today, and I got some very exciting things! S.’s sister gave me some cool springform pans (for cheesecake making!), and S. got me a ton of tennis stuff – a pretty pink racket, a pink tennis bag, and pink tennis balls! PINK! I am excited about all of it! But I am bummed, because I can’t do anything athletic for two weeks after my surgery, and I don’t think we’re going to make it to a tennis court in our last day of traveling :/

Funny story from babysitting last week (I had started this as its own post, but I didn’t like it, but now I’m just going to post it in here):

“Today, as I was babysitting, I got a glimpse of a very very strange world: upper middle class women who bring their perfect little babies to “music class” on weekday mornings. Seriously. Music class? Me, sitting around, singing to a kid is WAY more of a music class than a half crazy lady putting on hats and singing in front of a room of kids who can barely even say their names. Classes like these are way more for socialization for the moms than for the kids. Which is sad. Because if my life ever revolved around bring a kid to planed activities all week (swim lessons, music class, soccer, art lessons), I wouldn’t be satisfied. I have often thought of children as parasites, who we cater to – and it’s insane! I want to do stuff for ME. I can’t imagine sacrificing all of my goals and dreams in this world for a tiny, annoying, whiny parasite. ugh.”

This is even more relevant as I think about S.’s sister, who I adore, but whose life I’m happy I do not have. She is young (even younger than I am), married, she and her husband own their house, and even have a room designated for a nursery. I would love to be married (sorry S – don’t mean to freak you out by saying it), but kids – NO WAY. Also, the whole owning a house thing – it’s so permanent! I’ve talked about how I felt claustrophobic renewing my lease at my current place, and I’ve also talked about my fear of transitions (moving, getting a new place), but I would much rather be faced with the fear of moving and transitioning. But I am very very happy for her, and glad that she is fulfilling her dreams. But it makes me even more sure of my own dreams, and I am happy to be following them.